Lessons from an Oregon Infant Adoption
Adoption Law in Oregon: An Interview with an Adoption Attorney
There is one thing that you can do to hurt your chances of being able to adopt a baby in Oregon, and that is exactly what Oregon adoption attorney Tabitha Koh is going to share with us in the following interview.
Amanda Koval: There is one type of adoption partner that you want to avoid to not put your adoption in jeopardy. Today we're having a conversation with Tabitha Koh. Tabitha is an adoption attorney in the state of Oregon. Not only she going to share with us how to adopt a baby, but she's also going to share with us what you need to make sure that you are not doing so that you can adopt a baby. Even if you aren't adopting in the state of Oregon, I highly suggest that you pay attention to Tabitha’s tips, because she has great ones no matter what state you're adopting in. Tabitha, thank you so much for being willing to join us today.
Tabitha Koh: I'm so happy to be here with you, Amanda.
Amanda Koval: I would love for the audience to get to know you just a little bit better on a more personal level. Do you mind sharing a little bit more about yourself and your background so the audience can get to know you?
Tabitha Koh: Absolutely. I am a native of Oregon. I grew up here in Portland. I first came to understand the world of adoption by actually getting a job at this law firm that's now my firm. As an early 20-something, I was a bookkeeper. I loved the work that they did. I went to law school and I came back so that I could work with families in navigating this process of adoption.
Amanda Koval: That's awesome. What an amazing story that you were inspired to come into adoption law as a result of your exposure to this community. I do find that that happens to a lot of us. We get touched by adoption in one way or another and it ultimately ends up making some sort of transition in our lives. It's always been a part of it, for sure.
Tabitha Koh: Absolutely. I think one of the things that stood out for me was how much love and bravery there was from both adoptive parents we worked with who were letting their hearts go out on their sleeves and just trusting and hoping. And from these really brave expectant birth parents who were making a really tough parenting decision to place a child for adoption. I just felt like this is a situation where you take one plus one equals more than two. It equals this larger universe that opens up. So it was inspiring for me.
Amanda Koval: It does. I agree with that being a part of the adoption community myself. It's unique to see all of the ways that things just kind of weave themselves together in your lives as a result of one decision. I'd love for you to be able to help us educate those who are in Oregon or those who are just starting in the adoption process anywhere else to learn more about the adoption process in your state.
Tabitha Koh: Sure. So there are public adoptions and there are private adoptions. Those public adoptions, which come usually through DHS, are often kids that are in foster care, older kids, sibling groups, and kids that have been removed from homes. That is a whole other area of law. That's not an area of law that I practice. There's a different set of statutes that govern that area and different practitioners. So that's its own branch of the world. It’s a wonderful type of adoption for people to consider who have the sort of emotional and family resources to navigate that process. I encourage that to be also something that people explore.
The world that I work in is the private adoption world. In Oregon, that means either adopting through a private agency that is licensed with the state, which we call an agency adoption, a direct placement adoption or what we tend to call independent adoption. This is where the expectant parent and the adoptive family connect in a variety of ways and plan the adoption directly with the supportive attorneys. The key difference here is that the consent documents place the child directly from the birth family to the adoptive family without any intermediary. As opposed to an agency adoption where you have a social worker facilitated adoption, where they are helping to navigate all of those processes. The agency has an important role in receiving placement of the child, which they then placed with the chosen family. So those are the two types of adoption that we're usually thinking about.
Amanda Koval: That is a good clarification. I know that in our adoption world, that language is very important. But it can also be very confusing because we oftentimes call things by multitudes of names just as you were talking about direct placement also being an independent adoption. Some people also call it a self-matching adoption, meaning that the adoptive parent has connected in some way with the expectant parents. So it's good to understand the world of language there. Other types of adoption often get mentioned in my DMs on Facebook and you know, things of that nature that I'd love for you to touch upon whether or not they are an accepted form of adoption in your state. One of those is using a consultant. Can you talk to us about consultants and any other types of adoption as well?
Tabitha Koh: Yeah. In Oregon, there are legal restrictions on how you can use money to advertise for a child to be adopted by you. So if a family that is considering that self-matching mechanism or direct placement/independent adoption in Oregon is home study ready, they can work with an attorney and they can advertise. They can put it in the newspaper, or now it’s mostly online. But that is perfectly acceptable for a family who has a home study and is ready to adopt in Oregon.
However, it is prohibited to pay any sort of money or compensation to an entity that is not a licensed adoption agency for helping to find a child for adoption. So that means that what we in Oregon would call a facilitator – somebody who is a business professional outside of the state of Oregon, not a licensed agency – that is helping people to find matches for adoptions, the Oregon family will not be able to finalize in Oregon if they have paid an out of state licensed agency for help.
Amanda Koval: That is an important distinction. I think what you just shared is a perfect example of why I always tell my clients that the very first thing you've got to do is go talk to an adoption attorney in your state to make sure that what you're doing is legal. I know I often get a lot of questions saying, if you're a coach, what do you do? I specifically stay away from the connecting and expected family that is looking to place a child with an adoptive family who's looking to adopt for that specific reason. Because there are so many laws by state that would prohibit that. Instead, I focus on teaching you how to adopt: what questions to ask, where to go, and how to create your adoption profile. So that way, when you're sharing the story of your family, it's really easy to get to know you. You must draw that distinction in that line so that you are staying within the bounds of the law. Because the last thing you want to have happen is you get a baby in your arms and you're moving into the final stages of adoption to only realize that this is not something that you could do based upon the laws of your state. So thank you for sharing that with our audience. It's really important.
Tabitha Koh: Yeah, of course. It’s tragic when someone's heart is already out there, and then they learn this information. It’s really important to just check in with an adoption lawyer. You don't need to hire them to do a whole lot of work for you. But just a consultation where you can get information about the entity that's helping you in your adoption search. 20 miles away from where I'm sitting in Washington State, there's no prohibition. So a family living in Vancouver can work with somebody to find an adoptive placement.
Amanda Koval: That is a really important distinction. The laws do vary by state. That’s very important. Drastically.
Tabitha Koh: That's right. Oregon doesn't have any prohibition on a family using a resource like yours, Amanda, or, you know, talking with a counselor or somebody who's helping them to sort of prepare themselves for adoption or educate themselves. It's focused on whether somebody is being paid to find a placement for you.
Amanda Koval: Yeah, that is a big difference. Okay, so now that we kind of understand and are moving through the process of what's allowed from the type of adoption, are there any other types that we need to consider and discuss before we move on to the next step in the process?
Tabitha Koh: One thing I would just point out is that lots of the adoptions I see are inter-family adoptions of one sort or another. So grandparents adopting, an older sibling adopting, a step-parent adoption, a same-sex couple that's doing a confirmatory adoption, to make sure that both of the people who are parenting the child have a legal relationship with the child. Those adoptions happen in every state. They're near and dear to my heart, and several have that type of adoption in my own family. Those typically fall within that independent option category. And there are some opportunities for people who are adopting close family members or people with whom they share a household. So sometimes you can waive the home study, you can waive a post-placement report, or you can waive certain steps in the process that can make it a less expensive and less cumbersome process. So if you are considering the adoption of a child who's already sort of within your circle of family, consult with a lawyer to understand what path is available.
Amanda Koval: That is a really good clarification. And those shortcuts, if you will, can save you time and money in your adoption journey, which is something I'm personally passionate about: how can we remove the barriers as much as possible to connect children who need a home to those who can provide a home.
Okay, so we've talked about the different types of adoption that are allowed in your state. Now, can we talk about the next step? So you know, once you've kind of gone through the process of deciding what type of adoption is right for you, what do you do next?
Tabitha Koh: If you've chosen to work with an agency for adoption, then the agency is going to guide you through that process. They will have put you into a pool of their families. Typically, agencies require that you do the home study with the agency that is going to be offering you the adoption. They have different education classes and support programs for families while they're waiting. Then it's a matter of waiting for adoption profiles to be presented to you or opportunities to be presented to you, and deciding what's going to be the right thing for your family.
In Oregon, you typically don't have an attorney involved until the very end, after the baby's born sometimes, or a couple of days before the hospital. That is at the point where the consents have been signed or are being signed, and the placement is about to occur or has already occurred. The attorney's job is just to file the court paperwork to complete the legal process of the adoption. All of the emotional and social work parts have happened. The physical placement has happened. The negotiation of adoption agreements has already happened. So really, my job as a lawyer in that situation is to make sure that we're dotting our “I’s” and crossing all our “T's” and to do the work to create the legal relationship for the adoptive parents with the child.
So that is a process where the family is sort of handheld through it by an agency who is there to answer their questions as they go. But in the direct placement adoption or the self-matching adoption, typically a family would contact a lawyer in the state where they're planning to adopt. Usually, this is their home state. But maybe they've identified a match, and they've made a plan to move forward and the birth parent or the expectant parent lives in Oregon, for example, then you need to contact an attorney there to understand the first big question. Which state law are you going to be using to complete your adoption? So in many states, you have a choice of either using the law of the state where the baby is going to be born, where you would be having consent documents prepared under that state law, and hiring an attorney in that state to file the adoption for you. Or whether you're going to finalize the adoption in the adoptive parent's home state, which is often a reasonable option as well. The laws are so different, as you know, Amanda, that often the best thing a family can do at that point is talk to a lawyer in each state so that they understand what they're balancing there.
Once you have an attorney involved in that type of adoption, there are a couple of steps the lawyer will help guide you through. It depends a little on whether the lawyer is representing an adoptive family or the expectant family in the process. Most lawyers in Oregon have experience and are comfortable with representing both sides of the adoption dynamic. Obviously, you can't have the same lawyer representing both people. Or maybe it's not obvious. But in Oregon, I would strongly discourage and the court would be very cautious about any situation where you didn't have separate representation for the birth family and the adoptive family. So the lawyers will be helping with making sure that we understand some of the legal risk factors. Do you have a consenting birth father, or do you have a situation of an absent birth father or an unavailable father? How are we going to address that? Do you have any Native American heritage or Alaska Native Village heritage for the child? There's a special set of rules that we need to deal with in that situation. Is the child going to be passing between two states, in which case we need to understand what is the interstate compact dynamic going to be? Are there any other sort of anomalies in the scenario that the lawyer would spot as an issue that needs a little bit of investigating? That's just to make sure that as you begin to move forward in building your relationship with the birth family, you all are feeling pretty confident that this adoption is going to move forward and work the way you're planning.
Amanda Koval: That is super helpful. You touched on something there that I've not heard of before, which was the Alaskan native village aspect of it. I'm familiar with the Native American aspect. But do you mind sharing with our audience just a little bit about each one of those? And what kind of unique differences those present in the adoption process?
Tabitha Koh: So it's the federal law that is the originator of these rights is the Indian Child Welfare Act. And that law has also sort of spawned some state-level laws in many states, including in Oregon. So you're considering both the federal law but also the state-level requirements whenever you're thinking about a child who might have some type of Native American heritage. The law applies to children who meet the definition under the Indian Child Welfare Act of being an Indian child. So that is a child who is born to an enrolled member and is eligible for enrollment themselves. The group of Native American tribes that are involved in ICWA are those that are federally recognized. So not every indigenous group, Native American group, or tribe has federal recognition. So the first thing is to understand if you're dealing with a federally recognized tribe. If you are, then there are some special requirements to be sure that the tribe to which the child could become a member has the opportunity to be aware of the adoption to participate in the adoption, and potentially, to intervene or disrupt the adoption.
So it's quite a significant impact if a tribe chooses to oppose the adoption. In most of the adoptions that I work on, the tribes are involved, understand what's happening, and are supportive of the match. So that's not something that I've typically seen come up in the adoptions that I've worked on.
The Alaska Native Village part is just a part of the law. So it's built into equities, just not something that we, we don't always say all the words of that law. So it's not a special law. But it just happens that the organization of Native American groups in the US is sort of based on this tribal system. That's how the federal government, you know, has sort of logged or tracked those communities. And in Alaska, it's based on native villages. So if you have an expectant parent who has some heritage of Alaska Native, then it's important to understand if she or he is enrolled in an Alaska Native village, if the child would be eligible for membership in that group, and to deal with the same protocols.
Amanda Koval: That is super helpful. That was news to me. I had not heard about that particular issue. From my own experience of having a disrupted adoption based upon tribes not approving, it is something that you must understand as an adoptive family when you're potentially matching with a family that would be eligible for enrollment in these tribes. And more importantly, make sure that your adoption attorney is literate with these particular laws. Because they are very nuanced, and that's why I always coach clients to look for attorneys that are what's called Quad-A. It's an association of adoption attorneys that is the governing body. You want someone that is registered in that which means that they have a certain amount of experience in adoption law. But you also want someone who has experience in Native American law. It is a very nuanced law. So thank you for sharing that with us.
Tabitha Koh: And I'm so sorry for the experience that you had then too. The learning experience you had is also an experience of grief, often not just for the adoptive family in that situation, but for the birth family who made a choice and had an adoption that they were planning. It can be a tricky thing to navigate. So you don't want to ignore any issues and you need to ask questions. If you're not getting a good answer from your lawyer, then I would encourage you to look for another lawyer to make sure you're confident about that.
Amanda Koval: Absolutely. So I'm sorry to interrupt you as you were going through the process. But that was a unique lesson that I think the audience could benefit from.
Tabitha Koh: No problem. So I guess we were sort of talking about in that direct placement, the first step for the lawyer is really to ask a lot of questions, listen, and have you fill out questionnaires to get as much information as we can to see if there are any yellow flags or red flags that need to be addressed. We want to do that as early as we can. Because the farther you go down that path, both families are getting bonded and connected. So we want to try to get ahead of any problems and be alert to illegal risks that might be there. Or if there's something that's going to make the placement impossible, we want that information as quickly as possible.
The second step then, once we've done that initial intake and initial problem spotting, is to make sure that the adoptive family and the expectant family have a good basis of communication and understanding that's beginning to develop. One of the things that I like to say about these direct placement adoptions is that they allow the families a lot of flexibility and opportunity to build the kind of relationship they want. Some families are cautious. They are anxious. Maybe they're so nervous, maybe there's a cultural barrier, or a language barrier, something with the birth family. They need more coaching to navigate that. Sometimes the best thing is to connect them with an adoption counselor who can do that work. Sometimes they just need a little bit of encouragement and the adoption attorneys do a lot of that work naturally, sort of helping to support and coach a family through building that relationship
Amanda Koval: That is so so important, building the relationship aspect of it. I was recently listening to Rachel Hollis's podcast, and she was talking about her adoption journey. And that she felt nervous throughout that step of the process of forming the relationship. And it was a unique perspective that she shared, which was, I just tried to become her friend. And regardless of the outcome, whether or not she ended up picking us or not, I just thought, you know, I've been introduced to an amazing new human being and I want to get to know her. I thought that was a really good perspective. Because I know even in my adoption journeys, I was nervous to pick up the phone and have those conversations in the beginning. Because I was so wrapped up in all of the emotion. So I'm glad to hear that you help coach people through that as well, and provide them counseling resources when they need that professional to step in. That's one of those things I tell people all the time, is that I’m not qualified to help you here. I can tell you from my perspective and the perspectives of others, but a social worker is your best bet in this type of situation to help you feel really at ease.
Tabitha Koh: Absolutely. And not just any counselor that you come across, but somebody who has experience and understanding of adoption. It’s probably a good time to talk about openness in adoptions. Because that is very much the norm in Oregon adoptions. Most people who are planning an adoption here, whether it's the expectant family or the adoptive family, are expecting some type of openness. It could just be that you know each other's names and you meet each other at the hospital, and the birth parent or the expectant parent is not asking for an ongoing relationship. But more often, there's an exchange of pictures, updates, letters, and occasional visits. It's very common to have that type of adoption happening here in Oregon. The way that it works best and most beautifully is when everyone is centered on the child's needs. What is going to be the best way to help this child grow knowing that they were loved and cherished by all the people in their life and that the adoption choice was an affirmative choice that was made by their birthing family and not some rejection of that child or devaluing of them.
Amanda Koval: These are the real questions that people have and it's the real emotions that my kids even face. Especially as they are growing a bit older and trying to understand why someone would have made this decision. And so when you're having conversations even age appropriately, it’s a very tricky conversation to navigate. But if you start with the foundation of openness from the very beginning, have that real dialogue with your child's biological family, and then continue that throughout their life, in my own experience, this has been a more positive connection than not.
Tabitha Koh: Yes. Exactly. It’s all so very human, right? It's all filled with human emotion. It’s centered around the love of this new person who's here. And so I think, really trying to have that sort of open heart and open mind, and also the rational things you need to do to protect your legal security and have counseling support is important. And there's a balance there of being open. And also sort of making sure that as an adoptive family who is out there waiting and hoping and looking and longing, you are giving yourself the support and the self-care that you need to persist through this too. Because it requires that you be very strong and brave in the process.
Amanda Koval: Yeah, it does. It’s a very unique challenge. And you will learn more things about yourself than you ever knew were possible. You'll find some surprising strength inside of yourself is what my own experience has been.
Tabitha Koh: That’s exactly right, Amanda. And that's the thing for me that makes this work so rewarding. It’s getting to bear witness to that process and be a part of the team that helps to make this happen.
So openness is something that exists in many adoptions to some degree. And I want to digress a tiny bit because something you said made me think about this, Amanda. Even if you are matched, or you have matched yourself in adoption. If the birth parent is not planning to remain in contact, I always encourage my clients in that situation to spend all the time they can. So instead of just having a texting relationship across the country, figure out a way to fly out even if you just spend an afternoon with that person. You take them to lunch, you see where they live, or you get to know a little bit about them. Those are details that your child is going to want to know in the future: the information about their sense of humor, the fact that you shared a meal, the fact that you know, whatever it was that you were able to do in building that relationship. Even if it's not a relationship that's going to be present in your life in the future, the moments that you have during that adoption planning time can be precious to take the opportunity to experience fully while you're there.
Amanda Koval: I completely agree. With my children, we have kind of a varying degree of connection at the request of the birth family. And for me, personally, what has been the most healing in that process is leaving the door open and saying just because you know, maybe you feel this way today, if you change your mind in the future, here's a way for us to stay in contact. Leaving the door open to what they feel most comfortable with. But to your point, cataloging the time that we spent together has been immensely helpful in answering the questions that I've received as an adoptive parent.
Tabitha Koh: Yeah. Yeah. Good. I'm glad you had that opportunity with those birth families.
Amanda Koval: So as someone gets connected with an expected family, and you've kind of gone through the process and said, “Okay, this seems like a good budding relationship”, what happens from there in the process?
Tabitha Koh: So we're going to want to make sure that the expectant family also has been referred to a lawyer. And that happens pretty early because it gives another professional who is building a trusting relationship with that expected family and gathering more information. So completing a genetic and medical history questionnaire, getting information about their birth father, and other information needed to craft the adoption agreement. Things like whether there's going to be an open adoption agreement as a part of your adoption, gathering information about needed expenses, and figuring out what pregnancy-related expenses can be paid in Oregon as part of an adoption. Which ones are legitimate and help to sort of establish an appropriate expectation about what type of expenses can be paid by the adoptive family? Beginning to craft a birth plan. So we typically work on a hospital birth plan, and usually, that work is led by the expectant parent's attorney. But then that's a dialogue with the attorney for the adoptive family. So we are sharing back and forth. Does she want you to be in the room for the delivery as the adoptive family? Or is she asking that you be at the hospital but give her the first evening alone and then come and take care of the baby? Does she not want to see the baby? That usually changes if that's her opinion at the beginning. Is she eager that you care for the baby together? Maybe she really wants to watch you with the baby and see how you love the baby. So the whole range of that can be discussed. And it's really helpful to have an advocate for each of you. A compassionate, thoughtful advocate who is working to build this relationship together. But it's also making sure each side of that discussion has good representation and someone that they trust to guide them.
Amanda Koval: Yeah, that is important to have that experienced voice that understands, but is also going to be patient enough to get to know you as an individual and help you navigate through what can be some tricky conversations.
Tabitha Koh: Yeah, that's right. So then the next thing would be to begin the preparation of the legal documents. And that includes the consent paperwork that the expectant parent would be signing after birth. In Oregon, those documents are signed after the baby is born. There's not a required waiting period. But it is the best practice to not present those documents for signing until that birth parent has had an opportunity to recover from birth and to be sort of clear that they're ready for it. So my practice if I'm representing an expectant parent is that we've reviewed the documents before birth and she has copies of them to take with her so that she understands what it is that she's going to be signing. She has a chance to think it through and to ask questions. Then usually I will be in touch with her around the time of the delivery. Often the lawyers are called in the middle of the night to know okay, that we're going to the hospital. Then check in with her after the birth to make sure she's she's doing okay, and that her needs are being met in the hospital. The nursing staff has an important role in navigating that newborn time, and sometimes you run into a nurse who might be a little prejudiced against adoptive families or a little prejudiced against a birth family. And lawyers can be really helpful in just making sure that everyone's being respected and cared for there. But I wait until she tells me she’s ready for the documents. And usually, that's within a day or so of the birth. Sometimes it's sooner. Sometimes she says, I need to just do this now. I'm familiar. I know what we're planning. Sometimes she's had a tough delivery, and she sleeps for 24 hours. Then she wants to talk about it. So there's a range there. But that time, it's typically before the discharge of the baby, and before discharge of the birth mother from the hospital. Usually, during that period at the hospital, there's some overlap and care between the adoptive family, the birth family, and the hospital staff that are providing care for the baby.
Amanda Koval: That's a really good explanation. I'm gonna ask just a couple of questions on that particular step just because I was recently having conversations with a client about this. Does it vary between states on who decides for a baby? Or is that something that you cover when you're making the birth plan of who's deciding for a baby during this period before the adoption is final?
Tabitha Koh: Great question. So it can work out in any way that the parties have agreed. But typically, the birth parent will maintain the right to make decisions for the baby until they have signed the adoption consent. Then after that, they will pass that off to the adoptive family. And it doesn't have to be at that moment. It could be sooner Typically that’s a watershed moment where now she's passing this on to the adoptive family. And she's sort of beginning her post-placement healing process. Usually, we have power of attorney signed by the expectant parent, typically in advance of the birth. That does allow the adoptive family to make medical decisions, regardless of when the consents are signed. That power of attorney doesn't remove the birth parents' right to also make decisions. But it does mean that if she's asleep, or doesn't want to participate in the care, the hospital has their coverage to know that, yes, the adoptive family can direct care, and they're not gonna get into trouble for allowing that.
Amanda Koval: Yeah. I always coach my families that are asking me questions in that space of like, you know, it doesn't hurt to take all of those documents with you to the birth, just to make sure that you have what you need. I know, in our situation, our son's doctor at birth wasn't comfortable with us making decisions, even though she had given us medical power of attorney and he went in and asked her and she was like, “No, you were supposed to follow their directions.” And she got rather annoyed. She was like, I signed those documents for a reason. And so it was helpful for us to be able to produce that to the doctor and say, you know, “Hey, happy for you to go check in with her. Here's what she signed”. However, if she's changed her mind and she wants to make medical decisions, let's move forward with that. Because I do think it's important when you're building that trusting relationship, that you continue that in good faith with each other as you go through that process.
Tabitha Koh: For sure. And having that strong relationship makes a world of difference there. So even if you're very different people who might not have become friends in life. Still, finding the places where you can connect with mutual respect and affection, really gets you through that. I will say, I mean, what you raise Amanda is a perfect example of how the professionals that you might interact with all come to this process with their perspective on adoption, their own life experience, and their history. And they're not lawyers, right? They're not interpreting legal documents. They are medical providers. In your case, I would say having all of these sort of markers of a thoughtful, really careful, conscientious process is going to be the biggest aid there. So having a separate lawyer for the expectant parent that's already involved, having the birth plan, having the attorney phone numbers in the birth plan, that's often the case so that if a hospital employee is concerned about something, they can reach the birth mom's attorney or they can reach your attorney to help navigate that. Have your home study ready and the paperwork ready. All of those things go a long way to soothing the other professionals, as opposed to sort of walking in like DIY, without any of these things and saying, like we're doing an adoption. You might still be doing an adaption and it might still work out just fine. But it's not going to get the same level of respect, typically from the hospital staff that we would like for you to have.
Amanda Koval: Yeah. So once you've kind of gone through the process where the baby is born, what happens from there in your state,
Tabitha Koh: So in Oregon, after the attorney for the expectant parent has met with her or them and had the consent documents signed, usually the hospital wants the attorney to sign discharge paperwork as well that is just confirming that the baby's been discharged to the adoptive family. The adoptive family is going to leave the hospital with the baby usually soon after that. Both parents are going to be discharged home soon after that. And then we come to the court filing part of the process. So if both the birth family and the adoptive family are in the same state, everyone's in Oregon, then the family has just gone home to their own house, call their attorney that afternoon to schedule an appointment to come in and sign the petition. The birth parent's attorney will provide the signed documents to the adoptive parent's lawyer who can then file the court paperwork to ask the court to accept the adoption, appoint the adoptive family as temporary guardians during the pendency of the adoption, and direct they move forward with the post-placement process.
So all of that happens within I would say the first week. Once we have that sort of initial process started, the adoptive family will be meeting with their home study provider to get their final post-placement supervision done. And when that report is filed with the court, we can file a judgment of adoption in Oregon. A judgment of adoption simultaneously terminates the legal relationship of that birth family with the child and establishes the legal parent-child relationship for the adoptive parents. And so that is happening. Often it's somewhere between two to four months after the placement of the child for adoption that you're finalizing and getting that final judgment of adoption in the state of Oregon. So one common question is, what about revoking ability? Can the consent be terminated? Or can the birth parents change their mind during that time that you're waiting? So when you have consenting birth parents in Oregon, in direct placement or self-matching adoption, the specifics of irrevocability are laid out in what's called a Certificate of Eligibility that is signed by the expectant parent as well. That lays out the steps that need to happen, including having a petition for adoption filed, having a valid home study, and having provided or gathered genetic and medical history information about the baby. It includes having had a court order the guardianship of the child. So typically, getting that initial temporary guardianship order from the court in the adoption is the last of the steps to make the consent irrevocable. Sometimes other things are going on. No adoption is identical to any other adoption. So there's always a possibility of some other piece. But generally speaking, as soon as you get that guardianship order signed by the judge, that will be the point where the consents have become irrevocable. And at that point, you're just sort of working through the final processing of the adoption. But for both the birth family and the adoptive family, that's a point where, you know, that affirm line has been drawn, and the decision is final at that stage.
Amanda Koval: That's a really helpful distinction to understand exactly where that becomes final. This has been super, super helpful. Thank you for walking us through all the steps. I'd love for you just to share any kind of final thoughts with the audience on adoption in general before we talk about how they can get in touch with you.
Tabitha Koh: I see so many families come together in different ways. So I work with families who are doing an adult adoption of a beloved child 30 years after their birth. I see families who are coming together after a crisis to create security for a child. I see hopeful adoptive families and parents of infants or unborn children who are trying to find the best path forward and coming together. I see families through surrogacy and assisted reproduction that are doing confirmatory adoptions to give them that legal security. For me, all of these relationships come down to the people who you love, who you depend on, and who your child depends on. We have the opportunity as adoption lawyers to make a legal security to build legal kinship around the emotional kinship that often already exists or grows up overnight without needing a lawyer involved. So our job is really to give that sense of security, that you have a legal connection to the person, the child you're raising, or to the person you see as a parent, and that that cannot be severed by another person's choices.
Amanda Koval: That is awesome. I love that description. That it is a kind of kinship that you've built. From a legal perspective, that's a great way to think about adoption in general. Because it is a connection that lasts forever. It is not a connection that ever goes away from that perspective. Awesome. Well, I would love for our audience to know how to get in touch with you if they are considering adopting a baby in Oregon or if they've been connected with a birth parent in Oregon and they're looking for resources there. How can they get in touch with you?
Tabitha Koh: You can reach me at my website, which is bckattorneys.com, or on Facebook.
Amanda Koval: Awesome. Thank you again, Tabitha, for spending time with us today and walking us through the process. This has been informative. We appreciate you. That's a pleasure. Take care.
Wow, what a great conversation that was with Tabitha. I learned a couple of new things in this conversation. First, using an adoption facilitator in the state of Oregon can put your adoption in jeopardy. My friend, you don't want to be caught in that type of situation. The second revolution throughout this conversation was the Alaska Native Villages comment. I thought that was interesting. I had never heard that it was attached to the Native American child Indian Welfare Act requirements. So those are two great powerful things that we learned from our conversation with Tabitha. Now that you've learned more about how to adopt a baby in the state of Oregon, let's talk about what type of adoption profiles you need in this video. (correct link?)
